Having a Catholic Wedding (7)

(Frequently Asked Questions Part 7: Questions 37 to 43)


Marriage Education & Catholic Weddings


37. Is there a waiting period to get married in a Catholic Church? I’ve heard you have to wait six months.

38. Can the Church shorten the waiting period? I want to make our relationship ‘legal’ before we visit my partner’s family overseas.

39. Should I receive the sacrament of reconciliation before I get married?

40. What marriage education is required / recommended?

41. How come we have to go to a Marriage Education course before we can get married? What are they all about, and how long do they last?

42. Do the Marriage Education courses include religious instruction for a partner who is not Catholic?

43. How much do Catholic Marriage Education courses cost?


 

 

37. Is there a waiting period to get married in a Catholic Church? I’ve heard you have to wait six months.

One month’s notice of marriage is obligatory under Australian law. A longer notice is requested by the Church, however, to allow for a calm and serious preparation for marriage. The Australian Catholic Bishops Conference has recommended that dioceses require couples to give early notification of weddings, ideally 12 months prior to marriage, but at least 6 months beforehand. You should consult your local parish priest to find the local requirements.

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38. Can the Church shorten the waiting period? I want to make our relationship ‘legal’ before we visit my partner’s family overseas.

Practice varies between dioceses. Subject to the obligations of Australian law, the local bishop may give a dispensation of early notification for exceptional circumstances, for example if a parent of one of the partners is dying.

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39. Should I receive the sacrament of reconciliation before I get married?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church notes (CCC. 1622), “It is … appropriate for the bride and groom to prepare themselves for the celebration of their marriage by receiving the sacrament of penance”. Many priests will offer this at the rehearsal for the couple and for Catholic members of the wedding party who may desire it.

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40. What marriage education is required / recommended?

The Australian Catholic Bishops Conference ‘Common Marriage Policy’ recommends that each diocese require all couples to participate in an approved marriage education program at least six months prior to marriage

Couples are counselled by the priest before marriage and are also urged to attend marriage education courses.

The Catholic Society for Marriage Education (CSME) aims to promote and support marriage and family life in the Catholic vision by encouraging marriage and relationship education for couples considering marriage and for married couples. The CSME Web Site links to all the organisations that are members of CSME who provide pre-marriage education through Catholic agencies in Australia.
Options include programs with other couples and/or a pre-marital inventory to identify issues for further discussion.

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41. How come we have to go to a Marriage Education course before we can get married? What are they all about, and how long do they last?

The Church believes in the sacredness of marriage and urges couples to prepare well for this special day and for their married life together. The fact that a high percentage of marriages end in divorce emphasises the need for effective preparation.

Quite apart from that, substantial academic research demonstrates the value of marriage education to the success of marriages. For this reason, marriage education is promoted by Australian law and the Federal Government subsidises such courses.

Marriage education offers couples the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Christian marriage; to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life; and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples to deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage.

The aims of marriage education courses are several: to provide you with insights on skills on how to have a successful marriage; to help you to examine the level of commitment that is required for married life; to assist you in understanding your vision for marriage and the vocation to married life; and to explain the Church’s teaching on sexuality. In addition, the courses provide an opportunity to prepare for your marriage ceremony.

Programs vary from one 3 hour session to weekly sessions over 3 months or more. A typical program, for example, addresses topics such as:

    • What makes a good relationship

 

    • Roles and expectations

 

    • Family influences

 

    • Communication skills

 

    • Problem solving ideas

 

    • Conflict resolution methods

 

    • Respecting & responding to differences

 

    • Intimacy

 

    • Sexuality & Family Planning

 

  • Spirituality & Christian Marriage

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42. Do the Marriage Education courses include religious instruction for a partner who is not Catholic?

Marriage education courses are not religious instruction classes.

The Catholic Church fully respects the conscientious beliefs of the non-Catholic partner.

Because religious and cultural differences can become a source of disunity in marriage, the purpose of such courses is to assist the mutual understanding and communication between the Catholic and non-Catholic partner. Accordingly, among other topics, they do address the Church’s teaching on the Sacrament of Marriage, the vocation to married life and the Church’s teaching on sexuality. There is no intent to try to convert the non-Catholic partner but rather to facilitate communication between the partners on such intimate matters.

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43. How much do Catholic Marriage Education courses cost?

Costs vary according to course duration, whether or not it is live-in and whether it is individual, small group or large group. Typical costs in Australia in 2014 are in the range of $100 to $300. Courses run by approved agencies are subsidised by the Federal Government.

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<align=”center”>Having a Catholic Wedding – Key References

Catechism of the Catholic Church.
Hypertext version: The Celebration of the Christian Mystery: The Sacrament of Matrimony
<align=”left”>Download from link:
Catechism of the Catholic Church – Sacrament of Matrimony

Code of Canon Law
<align=”left”>Download from link:
Code of Canon Law

The Christian Family in the Modern World (Familiaris Consortio)
<align=”left”>Download from link:
The Christian Family in the Modern World

Divorce & the Catholic Church: Frequently Asked Questions
Bishops Commission for Pastoral Life. Canberra, 2006.
<align=”left”>Download from link:
Divorce & the Catholic Church – FAQ

Marriage in the Catholic Church: Frequently Asked Questions
Bishops Commission for Pastoral Life, 2006.
<align=”left”>Download from link:
Marriage in the Catholic Church – FAQ

God’s Gift of Life & Love: A Pastoral Letter to Catholics on Natural Fertility Methods
Bishops Commission for Pastoral Life, 2009.
<align=”left”>Download from link:
God’s Gift of Life & Love

The Sacramentality of Marriage. Grace for Marriage and Family Life
Bishop Peter Elliott, 2001.
<align=”left”>Download from link:
The Sacramentality of Marriage

The Sacrament of Marriage
Includes discussion of marriage preparation, details of the wedding ceremony and FAQs on marriage in the Catholic Church
<align=”left”>Download from link:
Catholic Australia – Marriage

Catholic Society for Marriage Education
<align=”left”>Download from link:
Catholic Society for Marriage Education

Catholic Inquiry Centre
<align=”left”>Download from link:
Catholic Enquiry Centre

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<align=”center”>Having a Catholic Wedding – Glossary

Baptism
Baptismal Certificate
Canon Law
Canonical form
Catechism
Conscience
Consent
Convalidation
Diocese
Dispensation
Sacrament of Holy Communion / Eucharist
Extraordinary_Minister
Impediment
Liturgical Act
Mass
Nuptial Mass
Parish
Parish Priest
Retroactive Validation (Radical Sanation)
Rite
Rite of Marriage
Sacrament
Sacramental Marriage
Marriage Tribunal
Valid Marriage

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Canon Law

The canon law of the Catholic Church is a fully developed legal system, with all the necessary elements: courts, lawyers, judges, a fully articulated legal code and principles of legal interpretation. The Code of Canon Law 1983, referred to in this document, is the body of Church Law promulgated by Pope John Paul II on 25 January, 1983. It is binding on all baptised members of the Latin (or Roman) Catholic Church.

Canon law regarding marriage in the Catholic Church prescribes certain rules, give discretion on some rules to the local bishop and give discretion in other areas to the local priest. Apart from these, neither the bishop nor priests may impose restrictions or requirements beyond those already defined by canon law

Eastern Rite Churches which are in communion with the Pope have their own Code of Canon Law (Code of Canons of Oriental Churches, 1990) which governs their members. The laws regarding marriage for members of Eastern Rite Churches differ in some respects from those of the Latin Church.

The English edition of the Code of Canon Law is available at the Vatican web site:
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_INDEX.HTM

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Canonical Form

Canonical form refers to conditions required under the canon law of the Catholic Church for a valid marriage where one or both parties are Catholic. For the marriage of a Catholic to be valid, it would be celebrated in a Catholic Church, by the local bishop or the local parish priest (or a priest or deacon delegated by either of them) and before two adult witnesses. For a valid reason, a dispensation from the canonical form can be obtained, for example for the marriage ceremony to be in a different location than a Catholic Church, or for a minister of another Christian denomination to be the celebrant.

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Catechism of the Catholic Church

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (or CCC) is a statement of the Church’s faith and of Catholic doctrine. Pope John Paul II declared it to be “a valid and legitimate instrument for ecclesial communion and a sure norm for teaching the faith”.

The English edition of the Catechism is available from the Vatican web site:
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM

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Consent

In addition to being free to marry, both parties must intend marriage. In the Catholic Church, it is consent that creates marriage. Consent consists in a human act by which the partners mutually pledge themselves to each other. Consent must be a free act of the will of the consenting parties, free of any coercion or grave external fear. If freedom is lacking, the consent is invalid and the marriage is invalid. See also CCC 1625-1632.

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Conscience & the Catholic Church

Pope John Paul II taught that conscience is an “interior dialogue of man with himself” about right and wrong. Conscience is a judgment of reason by which a person recognizes the moral quality of a concrete act (CCC 1976). A person must always obey the certain judgment of his conscience (CCC1800). However, one’s conscience can remain in ignorance or make erroneous judgments (CCC1801). Every person, therefore, has a lifelong obligation to form their conscience especially, in the case of Catholics, by seeking to understand the teaching of Scripture and of the Church (CCC 1794).

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Convalidation

There are many baptised Catholics whose marriages do not meet the legal requirements of the Church. A common situation is where the marriage took place in a civil ceremony or in a non-Catholic church without prior approval of the bishop. Such marriages may be valid in the eyes of the State but are invalid in the eyes of the Church.

Validation or convalidation of marriage is the process under the canon law of the Catholic Church by which a couple can seek to have a valid sacramental marriage (Canons 1156-1160).

Provided that there are no impediments to a Catholic marriage, the convalidation ceremony, through the mutual consent of the couple before the priest and witnesses, confers the sacramental marriage.

The convalidation ceremony is a true marriage ceremony, but simpler than a normal wedding. However, through discussion with the parish priest, it may be kept simple and discrete or incorporated into the liturgy of the Mass.

See also Retroactive Validation (also referred to as radical sanation)

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Diocese

A Diocese is the district under the spiritual authority and pastoral care of a bishop. It is divided into Parishes.

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Dispensation

A dispensation is the relaxation, for good and valid reasons, of the Church’s canon law in a particular case. It only relates to purely Church laws, for example the requirement that a Catholic marriage should take place in a Catholic Church. Dispensations cannot be given from Church doctrine which has its origin in divine law, for example Jesus’ teaching on divorce. Canon law specifies where dispensations may be granted and who has the authority.

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Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion

An extraordinary minister of Holy Communion in the Catholic Church is, under the Code of Canon Law, an acolyte or other baptised Catholic deputed, in certain specified circumstances, to distribute Holy Communion (Can. 910). The term “extraordinary” distinguishes such a person from the ordinary (normal) minister of Holy Communion, namely a bishop, priest or deacon. “Extraordinary” also refers to the circumstances, namely that the priest is prevented from distributing Holy Communion due to injury, age or some other significant reason, or when the number of faithful coming to Communion is so great that the celebration of Mass would be unduly prolonged.

Refer: Redemptionis Sacramentum, “On certain matters to be observed or to be avoided regarding the Most Holy Eucharist” (2004).
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ccdds/documents/rc_con_ccdds_doc_20040423_redemptionis-sacramentum_en.html

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Impediment

In the canon law of the Catholic Church, a canonical impediment is a legal obstacle that prevents a sacrament from being performed validly and/or licitly. Impediments are either from divine law, and so cannot be dispensed, or from Church law and, for a good and valid reason, may be dispensed by the competent Church authority (typically, the local bishop).

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Liturgy / Liturgical Act

A liturgy is the customary public worship done by a specific religious group, according to its particular traditions. In the Christian tradition it means the participation of the People of God in the Work of God. It refers to the celebration of divine worship and the proclamation of the Gospel, and in this it is participation in Christ’s own prayer to the Father in the Holy Spirit. (CCC1069-1073.)

Of particular importance for liturgy is the action and full participation of the congregation as a body. The liturgical act is done by every individual, not as an isolated individual, but as a member of a body which is the “we” of the prayers. Its structure is different from that of any other collection of people meeting for a common purpose. In the liturgical act the celebrating individual becomes part of this body, the “Church”, the body of Christ. (CCC1140.) This is true also with the liturgy of marriage. Whilst it is the couple who are the ministers, the celebration of the sacrament takes place amongst the community of Church; it is witnessed by the Church; and the Church as a whole prays for, rejoices with and welcomes the couple into a new ministry within the Church. (CCC 1630-1631.)

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Mass

The Mass is the complex of prayers and ceremonies that make up the Eucharistic celebration in the liturgical rites of the Catholic Church.

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Nuptial Mass

A Nuptial Mass is a marriage celebrated in the context of the Catholic Mass. The readings from Scripture and the celebration of the Eucharist are woven around the wedding ceremony. (CCC1621-1622.)

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Parish

A parish is typically the territorial unit served by a parish church or local church. It also refers to the community of baptised Catholics who attend the local church and whose pastoral care, under the authority of the diocesan bishop, is entrusted to a parish priest.

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Parish Priest

The parish priest exercises the pastoral care of the Church community entrusted to him under the authority of the diocesan bishop, so that for this community he may carry out the offices of preaching the Gospel, administering the sacraments and ministering to those especially with spiritual needs.

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Retroactive Validation (Radical Sanation)

The retroactive validation of an invalid marriage is its subsequent validation without the renewal of consent, granted by the competent authority (typically, the local bishop). It involves a dispensation from an impediment if there is one and from the canonical form if it had not been observed. (Can. 1161 §1).

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Rite

A Christian rite comprises the manner of performing the diverse services for the worship of God, including formal prayers and blessings, the administration of the sacraments including the Sacrament of Marriage, and the service of the Holy Eucharist, the Mass.

In a slightly different sense we call the whole complex of the services, or liturgical tradition, of any Church or group of Churches a rite. For example, we speak of the Latin or Roman Rite, the Byzantine Rite, and various Eastern rites. In this case it refers to the distinctive liturgical practices of the different Churches. (CCC 1200-1206.)

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Rite of Marriage

The ‘Rite of Marriage’ is the official guidance of the Catholic Church regarding which details and wording are essential (for example in regard to the wedding vows, the words of ‘consent’), where there may be choice (for example regarding which readings from scripture are used), and where there may be cultural variations in the ceremony (for example, the exchange of wedding rings). The Rite of Marriage specifies these details for:

    • the order of a Catholic wedding ceremony during Mass;

 

    • the order of a Catholic wedding ceremony outside of Mass; and

 

  • the order of a wedding between a Catholic and an unbaptised person.

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Sacrament

A sacrament is an outward sign, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church, by which invisible grace, divine life, is communicated to the receiver. The outward visible rites by which a sacrament is celebrated signify and make present the graces proper to the sacrament. A sacrament bears fruit in those who receive it with the required dispositions.

The fruit of sacramental life is both personal and ecclesial. For every one of the faithful on the one hand, this fruit is life for God in Christ Jesus; for the Church, on the other, it is an increase in charity and in her mission of witness. (CCC 1131-1134.)

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Baptism / Sacrament of Baptism

The Sacrament of Baptism is the basis of the whole Christian life, the gateway to life in the Spirit, and the door which gives access to the other sacraments. Through Baptism we are freed from sin and reborn as children of God; we become members of the Body of Christ, are incorporated into the Church and made sharers in her mission: “Baptism is the sacrament of regeneration through water in the word.” (CCC 1213-1274.)

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Baptismal Certificate

A ‘Baptismal Certificate’ is a document, kept at the parish where a baptism took place, which certifies that a person has been baptised. Any subsequent marriage in the Catholic Church is also registered on the baptismal certificate.

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Sacrament of Holy Communion / Eucharist

The Sacrament of the Eucharist is the heart and the summit of the Church’s life, for in it Christ associates his Church and all her members with his sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving offered once for all on the cross to his Father; by this sacrifice he pours out the graces of salvation on his Body which is the Church. The Eucharist is the memorial of the work of salvation accomplished by the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. It is Christ himself who, acting through the ministry of the priests, offers the Eucharistic sacrifice. And it is the same Christ, really present under the species of bread and wine, who is the offering of the Eucharistic sacrifice. (CCC 1322-1344.)

Communion with the Body and Blood of Christ increases the communicants’ union with the Lord, forgives their venial sins, and preserves them from grave sins. Since receiving this sacrament strengthens the bonds of charity between communicants and Christ, it also reinforces the unity of the Church as the Mystical Body of Christ.

Benedict XVI talks of a “profound bond” between the sacrament of the Eucharist and that of marriage, noting how “the liturgy places the celebration of the sacrament of marriage at the heart of the celebration of the Eucharist. […] In their daily lives, couples must draw inspiration for their behaviour from the example of Christ who ‘loved the Church and gave himself up for her.’ “

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Sacramental Marriage

The Catholic Church understands that Marriage is a sacrament instituted by Christ to provide special graces to the couple. Indeed, canon law is even more precise: “a valid marriage cannot exist between two baptized persons without it being by that very fact a sacrament” (Can. 1055 §2).

The consent by which the spouses mutually give and receive one another is sealed by God himself. The covenant between the spouses is integrated into God’s covenant with man. In the words of the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World: “Authentic married love is caught up into divine love and is governed and enriched by Christ’s redeeming power … so that this love may lead the spouses to God with powerful effect and may aid and strengthen them in sublime office of being a father or a mother.”

This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple’s love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they: “increasingly advance the perfection of their own personalities, as well as their mutual sanctification, and hence contribute jointly to the glory of God.”

Christ is the source of this grace. Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another’s burdens and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love.

This means that when, for example, two Catholics, two Protestants, or a Catholic and a Protestant marry validly, their marriage is by definition a sacramental marriage. Ironically, not all Protestants agree with this! Lutherans, for example, do not believe that there are seven sacraments, for they accept only two, Baptism and the Lord’s Supper. This means that when two baptized Lutherans marry validly in a Lutheran church, they themselves do not believe that their marriage is sacramental. Catholics, in contrast, will unhesitatingly assert that this Lutheran marriage is in fact a sacramental marriage. Simply put, the Catholic Church believes that it is impossible for two baptized people to validly marry without their marriage being a sacrament. See also CCC 1615, 1639-1642

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Tribunal / Marriage Tribunal

A Marriage Tribunal is a Church court, established in each diocese under canon law, to assist with the pastoral care of divorced persons seeking to remarry or seeking clarification of their standing in the Church and of divorced and remarried persons seeking to have their subsequent marriage recognised in the Church. The Tribunal does not grant divorces. Rather, it looks at all the circumstances of a ‘failed’ marriage, from the perspective of Church law, to determine whether there were impediments or other factors associated with the original marriage which meant that it was never a valid sacramental marriage in the first place. In such a case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged.

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Valid Marriage

Both the Church and State have legislation governing who may marry and the conditions required for marriage. If the conditions of Church canon law are not met (for example, if one of the parties had previously had a valid marriage and their spouse is still alive, or if the marriage is celebrated only in a civil ceremony) the Church considers that marriage to be invalid. In the eyes of the Catholic Church, if a marriage is judged to be invalid, it never existed and a decree of nullity (an annulment) can be issued to this effect. A couple may be validly married according to civil law, even though the marriage is invalid in Church law.

For a Catholic marriage to be a valid sacramental marriage:

    • the wedding must be celebrated in the presence of a Catholic priest/deacon/bishop (unless a dispensation is given) and two adult witnesses, normally in public and usually in a church (Can. 1108 §1);

 

    • both parties must be free to be married, that is neither person has a prior valid marriage (Can. (1085 §1);

 

    • both partners must understand and accept the nature of Catholic marriage, namely that it is a lifelong, faithful partnership which is open to the gift of children (Can. 1101 §2);

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    • both partners must be emotionally and psychologically mature and capable of consenting to the marriage and they must freely express their consent to give and accept one another irrevocably in order to establish a Catholic marriage (Can. 1095-6); and

 

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